I’ve had many discussions with people about divorce laws and how they work. Many are surprised, if not shocked, that divorce laws are actually more designed for spouses that are not considering a divorce. Wait, what? That’s right. Divorce laws were designed not so much for battling couples, but more so, to provide security to those married folk that are not even considering a divorce. In fact, most divorce laws are buried in a larger law that controls how your State handles marriages. Why should you care?
Statistics tell us that you’re more likely to eventually get divorced, than stay married. Divorces are ugly and horrible things, but only because one spouse or the other (maybe both) think one side has the legal edge. I’ve heard this many times, “men get screwed in divorce” or “mom’s get fucked in divorce.” This perspective is interesting in that the laws were not designed to favor one sex over the other, but rather, divorce laws are designed to encourage marriages by getting spouses comfortable that a potential break-up can be easy and outcomes pre-determined. Why doesn’t that happen?
Most divorce lawyers will readily admit that they pretty much know how a divorce will start and how it will end. It’s the middle that confuses them. The middle is the fighting, the battling, and the litigation. All that middle more represents a spouse’s unwillingness to accept that pre-determined outcome. Largely, this hostility has nothing to do with the “fairness” of the laws, because as I noted above, it’s designed to make both spouses happy with the handling of the break-up. Rather, the hostility of one spouse, or both, is solely based on that erroneous perspective that the law favors one side or the other. These perspectives are built from past experiences, past overheard discussions of other’s divorces, and old belief mechanisms – not easily changed.
In many cases, the outcome of the case is meaningless because some spouses that get a “sweet” settlement or result, may nonetheless believe that they got screwed. This belief is only because that spouse doesn’t understand how divorce laws were created and why those laws are buried within the marriage laws. But now you know. By simply reading this article, and maybe changing your perspective, you just saved tens of thousands of dollars in foolish litigation. Because your divorce is coming, so say the statistics.