When divorce is a passing thought

Of all the spouses that meet with me, talking with a divorce lawyer is the last thing they do when wanting to leave a spouse.  There’s all kinds of activity in their lives that precedes our meeting.  They talk to friends, start dating another, separate finances from their spouse, and even sell a home.  The shocking part of hearing this news is that they usually have done everything wrong, and may (if not will) make their divorce more expensive.   Why this path?

More and more, spouses consider a divorce in a passing thought.  Maybe its a dream or a fantasy of a spouse, so badly wanting out of a bad marriage.  Maybe it’s simply reality.  Whatever the reasons, there’s always a passing thought, maybe repeated passing thoughts.  If you’re having these thoughts, do one thing:  sit down with a divorce lawyer.  I’m not asking you to file for divorce (that’s scary!), and I’m not asking that you sit your children down to break the bad news.  No.  I’m not saying that.

Call a divorce lawyer and have a coffee with him or her.  That’s it.  Maybe 1 hour  of your time.  60 minutes.  Nothing more.

This meeting will help with a few things.  It may shake those thoughts out of your head.  The fantasies vanish, when maybe you realize that a divorce isn’t an option.  More likely, though, you will educate yourself on how the process works, so that all that activity you’ll be thinking about (and doing) in a month, or year, doesn’t come back to bite you or cause you to lose custody of your children.  All that for an hour investment.  A bargain, by most standards.

So, next time you have a fleeting thought of a divorce (or maybe have a friend that voiced a thought), call your local friendly divorce lawyer (I typed that with a smile), and have a coffee.  If you’re lucky, the lawyer will pay for the coffee.

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